Today my principal came and told me that my name is on the list of non-renewals for the next school year. I will be terminated in June, due to budget cuts, etc. But she also gave me a glimmer of hope. I won't go into specifics because you never know who reads these things, and I know more than I'm supposed to about this whole "top secret" process, but I should be getting my position back sometime before the end of May. So all is not lost....yet.
I say that it "hasn't sunk in yet" because I don't feel like anything really happened. I am in a strange sort of denial that nothing will change and everything will be the same next year as it is right now (me having the same job that is). My principal likes me, we're pretty much the same person, and I know/hope with crossed fingers that I will be the one she hires back to fill my spot. I can't bring myself to face the fact that this is only my third year as a teacher and it could be my last for a very long time. Every school district in my area is facing the same ordeal. Unless I go and get an emergency special education endorsement, I'm out of a teaching job for quite a while. The only openings are in places I don't really want to move to. I plan on starting a family and don't want my children growing up only seeing their grandparents once a year.
The one thing that does piss me off is that there is nothing I can personally do to prevent this from happening. It's not my fault that my contract has been terminated. I have had 3 years of excellent evaluations and would not be in this position if it weren't for some greedy sons-of-bitches that used us every-day-Joe's to get rich quick. They completely stole my future right out from underneath me even before I had a good start at building it. What pisses me off even more is that the "government for the people, by the people" is doing their darnedest to give those greedy sons-of-bitches all their money back, and more, while leaving me with nothing and no hope. All of those commercials I've heard about getting an "education" to help keep me competitive in the workplace, are crap. With education, after the school districts pull themselves out of the hole, they will hire on tons of "new" teachers right out of college because they cost less than someone like me who has experience and a masters degree. Does anyone else see something wrong with that?
Whoa! This turned into one giant rant on our country's current state of affairs. I didn't intend that, it just all came pouring out. The same thing happened to my dad 2 years ago when ATA went bankrupt. The greedy people who ran that company did everything they could to maintain their salary and lifestyle at the expense of their employees. This lead to a collapse and a locking of the doors in the middle of the night that left everyone out in the cold. My dad had a successful and happy retirement to look forward to and now he is left with nothing and is stuck working for a crap-hole airline because there are no other positions open. I remember thinking then that I was glad I had chosen teaching as my career. They will always need teacher, right? HA!
Whoa, whoa, whoa! There I go again. I need to stop now. Something I say here will eventually get me in trouble. What I will leave you with is this: Some good will come of this. I know it will.
PS....my husband and I bought a fence today :) It's being installed next week. Now Bentley can roam freely in his territory and I won't have to worry about him wandering off. Yay for tax returns.
PPS....I didn't run. Lost all motivation for that. Hopefully tomorrow.