Thursday, November 19, 2009


Since the running disaster with Bentley on Monday, I haven't felt much like running. Every little excuse seems to be a good reason not to run.

Tuesday: headache
Wednesday: 1 hr break between school and masters class=not enough time to run
Thursday: had to get ready for open house at school
Friday: who knows, I'm planing on it, but who knows...

I'm having a huge power struggle with my dog and it really bothers me. I try to remember how my parents trained our dog when I was growing up...and I think I'm doing an alright job following their plan. Then I watch the Dog Whisperer and it seems like I'm a total failure at keeping my dog "balanced." Every time I try his methods of management, I end up so frustrated that Bentley won't walk next to me or even look at me.

All of this is draggin up anxieties about having children. I'm not pregnant yet, but we plan on it sometime in the next two years. I'm trying to hold off as long as possible. If I can't discipline a dog, how the hell am I going to discipline a child? I'm the only one of us who is home enough to work with him and he still won't listen to me. Is this a sign that I'm going to be a terrible mother? As terrified as I am about being pregnant, I'm even more terrified about being a parent. :(


  1. ha ha if only they came with manuals huh Consistency and patience. That's what you need to train Bentley and to discipline kids. Mine are 13 and almost 10 and it's a constant learning process. Don't be afraid, the motherly instinct is pretty powerful.

  2. Isn't it scary how the biggest responsibility in life comes with NO instructions? I think about all the time.

    Sorry about your lack of motivation. :(