Once upon a time I used to be...
- An organized person
- A motivated person
- A healthy person
- A clean person
- A runner
Now......I'm a mother.
This kid is the love of my life. I wouldn't change a single thing. But that doesn't keep the nasty "If-Only" monster from creeping into my thoughts...
- If-Only he'd sleep through the night
- If-Only he'd be content for an hour so I can do just 1 P90X workout
- If-Only he'd stop crying....
- If-Only he'd give me 30 more minutes of sleep
- If-Only I could take a shower
- If-Only I had the motivation to go for.....
But, I can't let the If-Only monster bring me down. It's 2013 now. I have gone more than a year without blogging. This blog was created as a running blog and since I got pregnant, I haven't been doing much running. BabyBoy is now almost 9 months old and it's high time I stopped lugging the remnants of pregnancy around with me....emotionally and physically.
For my own reasons I need to address all the "people" I used to be and lay out a plan for becoming each and every one of them again.
I Used To Be....
An Organized Person:
BabyBoy takes up so much energy that everything we play with or use during the day gets left exactly where we set it when we move on to the next activity. This means clothing, toys, books, remotes, tissues, bottles, etc. are lying all over the house. After he's in bed I try to pick some of this mess up, but I'm just to damn tired to care. I want him to learn to pick up after himself (when he's old enough, obviously) and need to start setting examples.
In 2013 I pledge to...Pick up each night before bed. If possible, I want BabyBoy to watch/help me pick up before he goes to bed. I want to make a "game" out of putting toys back in the toy box when we're done. Husband has been amazing and keeping the kitchen somewhat picked up over the past few weeks and I know that we can keep this up.
A Motivated Person...
I started this blog on Nov 9, 2009 with the intentions of writing down thoughts and gaining motivation form other bloggers. Now all I want to do is sleep. I've written many blog posts in my head about life since BabyBoy was born but couldn't bring myself to actually write them down. All wanted to do was sleep.
In 2013 I pledge to....Start blogging again. I can shoot for one post a week. Motherhood is not the blissful fairytale that it looks like. I get so caught up in the "I can't" of it all that I forget what "I can". This blog is going to keep me accountable to myself again and give me an outlet for the stress. (Realizing that whiny mommy posts will not gain followers.....but I don't care. That's not what this blog is for.)
A Healthy Person....
I am now about the same weight that I was when I started this blog in 2009. In May of 2011 I looked the best I ever have and weight the least that I have since college. Now I'm lugging around BabyBoy and left-over baby weight. I'm sleeping whenever possible and eating snack after snack. Chips, popcorn, cookies, chocolate.....yum. Seems the word "No" has gone out of my vocabulary.
In 2013 I pledge to....Keep a meal calendar again. This was so successful for Husband and I before baby. It helped with grocery shopping and really helped with the I'm-to-damn-tired-to-cook-after-work attitude. BabyBoy makes me to damn tired to do anything right now, so this calendar will really come in handy. And the "snacks" need to be replaced with veggies.
A Clean Person....
I cannot tell you the last time I showered. Gross. I know. But with BabyBoy entering into a phase where all he wants to do is be held (he's been sick and teething since before Christmas) I can't put him down in the bathroom anymore to take a quick shower. I'm also sleeping in more in the mornings because I'm just so damn tired. This does not give me much time for a shower before work on those days.
In 2013 I pledge to....Insist on a daily shower. Husband will not get to do what he wants until I have showered. I realize that I am no one's priority here, so I have to make myself my priority.
Coming home from work. Changing clothes. Putting on those running shoes and going for 4-5 miles. Those were the days. Now I pick up BabyBoy from daycare. Get in a good snuggle. Get him fed. Amuse him until bed time. And then crash.
In 2013 I pledge to....Run. A friend from work wants to walk/run with me a few nights a week while her son is at wrestling practice. The high school has an indoor track open to the public after school and we walk/run there for an hour or so. I found the Prevea training plan I used before and want to start training for a race in May. (No idea which race yet, but we'll tackle that later.) Indoor track means can take BabyBoy after dinner when Husband is busy. I. Will. Run.
Being a mother is not a fairy tale for me. I didn't expect it to be, but I thought it would be easier than this. I was wrong. I love my BabyBoy. His smiles make my world go around and my heart melt. I want to set every example in the world for how a healthy person lives and I need to start now. Mothers can be (and are) all the things I used to be and the only thing stopping me from being those things is a nasty attitude.
The jogging stroller awaits. Will you help me with my journey?