Things I Used to Be...

Once upon a time I used to be...

- An organized person
- A motivated person
- A healthy person
- A clean person
- A runner


Now......I'm a mother.

This kid is the love of my life. I wouldn't change a single thing. But that doesn't keep the nasty "If-Only" monster from creeping into my thoughts...

- If-Only he'd sleep through the night
- If-Only he'd be content for an hour so I can do just 1 P90X workout
- If-Only he'd stop crying....
- If-Only he'd give me 30 more minutes of sleep
- If-Only I could take a shower
- If-Only I had the motivation to go for.....

But, I can't let the If-Only monster bring me down. It's 2013 now. I have gone more than a year without blogging. This blog was created as a running blog and since I got pregnant, I haven't been doing much running. BabyBoy is now almost 9 months old and it's high time I stopped lugging the remnants of pregnancy around with me....emotionally and physically.

For my own reasons I need to address all the "people" I used to be and lay out a plan for becoming each and every one of them again.

I Used To Be....

An Organized Person:
BabyBoy takes up so much energy that everything we play with or use during the day gets left exactly where we set it when we move on to the next activity. This means clothing, toys, books, remotes, tissues, bottles, etc. are lying all over the house. After he's in bed I try to pick some of this mess up, but I'm just to damn tired to care. I want him to learn to pick up after himself (when he's old enough, obviously) and need to start setting examples.
In 2013 I pledge to...Pick up each night before bed. If possible, I want BabyBoy to watch/help me pick up before he goes to bed. I want to make a "game" out of putting toys back in the toy box when we're done. Husband has been amazing and keeping the kitchen somewhat picked up over the past few weeks and I know that we can keep this up.

A Motivated Person...
I started this blog on Nov 9, 2009 with the intentions of writing down thoughts and gaining motivation form other bloggers. Now all I want to do is sleep. I've written many blog posts in my head about life since BabyBoy was born but couldn't bring myself to actually write them down. All wanted to do was sleep.
In 2013 I pledge to....Start blogging again. I can shoot for one post a week. Motherhood is not the blissful fairytale that it looks like. I get so caught up in the "I can't" of it all that I forget what "I can". This blog is going to keep me accountable to myself again and give me an outlet for the stress. (Realizing that whiny mommy posts will not gain followers.....but I don't care. That's not what this blog is for.)

A Healthy Person....
I am now about the same weight that I was when I started this blog in 2009. In May of 2011 I looked the best I ever have and weight the least that I have since college. Now I'm lugging around BabyBoy and left-over baby weight. I'm sleeping whenever possible and eating snack after snack. Chips, popcorn, cookies, chocolate.....yum. Seems the word "No" has gone out of my vocabulary.
In 2013 I pledge to....Keep a meal calendar again. This was so successful for Husband and I before baby. It helped with grocery shopping and really helped with the I'm-to-damn-tired-to-cook-after-work attitude. BabyBoy makes me to damn tired to do anything right now, so this calendar will really come in handy. And the "snacks" need to be replaced with veggies.

A Clean Person....
I cannot tell you the last time I showered. Gross. I know. But with BabyBoy entering into a phase where all he wants to do is be held (he's been sick and teething since before Christmas) I can't put him down in the bathroom anymore to take a quick shower. I'm also sleeping in more in the mornings because I'm just so damn tired. This does not give me much time for a shower before work on those days.
In 2013 I pledge to....Insist on a daily shower. Husband will not get to do what he wants until I have showered. I realize that I am no one's priority here, so I have to make myself my priority.

A Runner....
Coming home from work. Changing clothes. Putting on those running shoes and going for 4-5 miles. Those were the days. Now I pick up BabyBoy from daycare. Get in a good snuggle. Get him fed. Amuse him until bed time. And then crash.
In 2013 I pledge to....Run. A friend from work wants to walk/run with me a few nights a week while her son is at wrestling practice. The high school has an indoor track open to the public after school and we walk/run there for an hour or so. I found the Prevea training plan I used before and want to start training for a race in May. (No idea which race yet, but we'll tackle that later.) Indoor track means can take BabyBoy after dinner when Husband is busy. I. Will. Run.


Being a mother is not a fairy tale for me. I didn't expect it to be, but I thought it would be easier than this. I was wrong. I love my BabyBoy. His smiles make my world go around and my heart melt. I want to set every example in the world for how a healthy person lives and I need to start now. Mothers can be (and are) all the things I used to be and the only thing stopping me from being those things is a nasty attitude.

The jogging stroller awaits. Will you help me with my journey?

Things I realized....

Today marks 27 weeks of this preggo adventure. 3 months from today is my projected due date! Holy cow! I finally have some energy back. I don't feel like sleeping all the time. My body isn't in a constant state of ouch! I want to move.

Sadly, I haven't moved so long that any major movement now will cause problems. But I'm seriously contemplating a "walking routine" for the next 3 months. I'm basically wasting my gym membership right now. I'd cancel it if it wasn't for the insanely expensive sign-up fee that I avoided paying the first time because I joined during a special promo period. Grrr. I feel confident about "working out" at this point because the gym is part of a wellness campus and they have doctors offices/immediate care/OBGYN services right through a set of double doors by the free weights!

I began my attempt at a walking routine on Wednesday afternoon. When I got home from school it was 51 outside! For northern Illinois on January 11th that is an unfathomable temperature. This is the first year I can remember that it hasn't been in the negative temps by now. Bentley and I went for a long, slow walk. He enjoyed the nice weather and I enjoyed not cramming my preggo-self into a winter jacket that I really can't zip right now. Just to prove that the weather was a fluke, we ended up with 5 inches of snow on Thursday and blizzard-like conditions on Thursday night. I had a tough time making it home from school on Thursday afternoon and an even more difficult time getting to school on Friday morning. After a near car-totaling experience just before Christmas with only 1 inch of snow on the ground, I was holding off panic attacks on both drives. I haven't tried going to the gym because of the roads. It's not worth me risking an accident just to walk in circles.

Husband and I spent all day today at a prenatal class....that meant no walking at the gym. He wasn't too happy about listening to baby talk from 9-5, but it was all worth it in the end. We got answers to most of our questions about labor/delivery and got a tour of the facility (which has been recently remodeled and is really nice!). A lot of what we already new was confirmed and I just need to ask a few questions of my Dr. the next time I see him to get answers to physician-specific delivery practices. I enjoyed having labor be compared to a marathon. Since I've run two halves, I'm pretending that you can count that as a whole marathon :) If I can do that, I can deliver a baby! The breathing techniques were fun because I could use my yoga breathing skills. I'm no longer scared of labor. I can handle pain and now know what I can ask for when I can't handle it any longer. Only 3 months until I get to test my inner strength!!!

Tomorrow I'm planning on spending about an hour at the gym stretching, walking, and stretching some more. Maybe adding some light lifting to start building my baby-carrying muscles. As always, I'll be listening to my body to see if I need to call it quits.

There is a jogging stroller in my future and I want to put it to good use! Wish me luck :)

Merry Christmas

It's been a really long time but.......I'm still here.

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you've all enjoyed your time with your families.

Husband and I are enjoying our last quiet Christmas. Our Baby Boy!!! will be here in just a few short months. Amazing!

Blessings on everyone! Enjoy what's left of 2011!!!

Waiting

Hello out there. This running blog hasn't had much in the way running lately. And my computer is limping along on it's last legs. It is practically unresponsive to any clicks or commands and the video card is shot and the screen looks like it's having seizures. I'm lucky to be able to be typing this at all!

All that aside...

I'm a big fan of being pregnant at this moment. My sister-in-law just gave birth to her first child a week ago. Baby Oakley Mara. A beautiful little girl (despite the ridiculous name). I held her yesterday and she is absolutely precious. I am so excited for my little person to be in my arms in.....5 looooong months.

Things I'm not liking:

- The price of maternity clothes. How am I supposed to save for baby and clothe my preggo-body? Yikes! Thank goodness for friends who've loaned me their clothes :)

- The skin of a 13-year-old. Zit-tastic over here :(

- Unwanted advice/mothering from coworkers. Yes I'm standing on a chair b/c I'm only 5'1" and can't reach the top cork strip that's 7+ feet off the ground to hang these projects. Ain't no one going to do it for me. I'm going slowly and checking balance before I stand up. I'm fine. Go away.

- Not exercising. I've totally dropped the ball on this one :( I was running until I found out I wasn't as far along as I thought i was and kinda freaked. Since week 5 of this whole deal I've been a sedentary bum. I've only been to yoga 3 times. Boo on not staying healthy and fit through this whole thing.

I promise the jogging stroller will be assembled and ready to go as soon as Dr. C clears me for "exercise" ! I've already picked a "come back race" for next October. (giving myself plenty of time to "recover") I'm doing the Twin Cities half-marathon in Minneapolis/St. Paul. Husband is going to try for the full with my sister. They're also planning to do the half in Green Bay in May. We'll have a month-old nugget at that point and hopefully I'll be able to walk the 5K with my parents and the jogger! :)

Gender reveal day is on the 22! Stay tuned :)

Moving Again

Finally made myself move again.

We've been experiencing unusually warm weather for this time of year. I'm talking 80's in October in northern IL!! I could almost get used to this. This weather has had me longing to get out and go for a run! I haven't run much since discovering I had taken on a passenger ;) And as a result I have been feeling sore, achy, and slow lately. I decided that I needed to get moving again, stretching in particular. I caught a yoga class this morning courtesy of dear old lost-as-heck Columbus!

Yoga was lovely! The instructor is someone who caters to the over 60 set at the gym and always has modifications for each pose. She moves through the stretches and poses slowly which was great for me today. I looked up and found 2 other days this week that I have time to catch a class after school. The only thing there is having the energy to go after school.

Energy...or the lack there of...is what has kept me from moving in an exercise-related way for over a month. Pre-preggo I would have forced myself through a run despite lack of fluids or nutrition. Now, not so much. I'm doing all I can to drink water constantly, but I know it's not enough. Anyone have tips or staying consistently hydrated?!?!

On a good note, the morning queeseys have passed and i'm feeling normal again....even a little sexy. (husband appreciates that! Figured we'd go with it as long as I feel like this!) I get 2 ultrasounds in Nov, one to check for heartbeats and one to check for gender. Super excited!

Happy......moving! :)

News! Both Happy and Sad

That's right! My plan worked! I'm preggers!

Only 10 weeks right now and due in April.

I haven't felt much like running, even though the first thing I bought for my pregnant-self was the "Running for Two" shirt! No morning sickness just all-day-nautious :( By the time I get home from school I'm wiped! I don't feel like I'm eating or drinking enough to make it around the block! But I will keep trying. Bentley and I have run twice in the past week. Only 1.25 miles each time, but I was proud of those miles :)

Of course we told our "children" first. Bentley was as excited as you could hope for, but Doozer could sense the competition :)

Now for the not so great news.....

I had a more exciting post in mind when I started writing this last week. Sadly, after I typed the paragraph above my phone rang. My father called to tell me that my grandmother had passed away suddenly that morning. She had been ailing with Alzheimer's for a number of years, and was living in a home that could care for all of her needs. My parents told me that she passed quietly and peacefully in her sleep. Her time came and she was gone. All the joy I had about writing this post went out of me. I am still over joyed at my news, but I am filled with sadness over my grandmother's passing. Sadness and peace at the same time. I am certain that she is now at peace, back with her mind and body that left her long before her soul did.

Thelma Bailey Shesler, the greatest grandmother a girl could ask for. You are loved and will be missed.

That being said...I know her memory will live on in my "next generation." I hope to be the kind of mother she was. I've got a lot to work for, but I'm half-way there :)

Still Here

I know you weren't concerned, but I haven't fallen of the face of the earth.

I have some big news coming soon, but until then, bear with me.

I haven't run in a long time.

I will run tomorrow. I will. Even though it will be close to 100 outside. But I was good with my hydration today and will be just as good tomorrow. I will be ready to kick pavement at 3:30 with SIL#1 and Niece#1 (SIL#1's step daughter). This should be interesting. We have inspired this little lady to lace up her shoes and run. Even though she whines like mad when she sweats. Cross your fingers!

On the book front, I managed to accomplish reading 11 books this summer. Mostly books from my classroom library that I have never read before. A coworker loaned me her copy of The Help which I will finish some time this weekend. Can't wait! I'm loving the book and won't see the movie until it's done! I have a whole new stack from my room that needs reading next. As good as they are for kids, I'm getting burned out on Rick Riordan. Need new children's author!!!

Any Labor Day race plans? I never signed up for the Girl Scout race, but I do want to do a 5K in October. It's the Stone Bridge 5K and is right down the street from my house. I can wake up, get dressed and be at the start in less than 30 minutes :) Can't beat that! I will do my best to talk SIL#1 and Niece#1 into running it with me.